Jury’s still out for us, but Bob Lefsetz, he of the famous Lefsetz Letter, has found a bunch of links suggesting that we might all be looking at the next viral campaign concocted by a major record label.
Granted, there’s not much to go on, but then, there wasn’t much for the 9/11 Truthers or the Birthers to go on, either, and it took years for them to finally shut up. The top (potentially) damning pieces of evidence:
YouTube play count: We’ve seen things go viral before, and the definition of the phrase is constantly changing as more and more people start flocking to the “Internet sensations” that clog up our culture, but 18 million plays? Already? Very, very fishy.
The girls. In the video that shows Chance performing at what’s supposed to be some kind of talent show, where are all the dudes? There are nothing but girls in that auditorium, which suggests either a) that Chance goes to an all-girls school, and is therefore some kind of hermaphrodite (which we are NOT discounting as a possibility), or b) all those girls were somehow herded in there, possibly with the promise of locks of Justin Bieber’s hair, and were turned into some kind of test-marketing audience.
The sound quality. As explained by the Random British Guy (supposedly a social media expert) in one of the videos Lefsetz links to, the sound is very well-balanced for a talent show. As anybody who’s worked in an A/V club before knows, getting audio from your auditorium to sound anything close to that good is really freaking hard, and it’s exceedingly unlikely that they have someone that smart working at the public high school in Oklahoma that Chance attends.
Of course, we could be totally wrong about this (and if we are, Greyson, we’re sorry we called you a hermie), but given that the two biggest success stories to happen to the record industry in the last decade have been Susan Boyle and Justin Bieber, doesn’t it make at least a little bit of sense that some executive at Interscope would think to combine the two?
Because after all, if you could mash Susan Boyle’s non-celebrity status together with Justin Bieber’s haircut, that combination would look like a million bucks, right? At least.
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